I have an addictive personality. I am aware of this yet, it still keeps tripping me up in life.
When Pepsi had diet with a twist of lime.. I was drinking 3 gallons of the stuff, along with kettle corn. Every fair or festival I went to I had my face in the big hot pan waiting for my bag. (Then they made it for the microwave... I openly admit that I was out of control.. Orville Reddenbacker was one hot man to me for months.)
And it is never anything healthy! Why can't I love to run or exercise or eat fruit and veggies?
But, one of my greatest additions started in high school. I had terrible acne on my back and the doctor told me to lay in the sun. So, doctor's orders, I did. Like an addict.
I used baby oil and had a spray bottle when it got hot. I started in March and just covered up with a blanket if the wind was too chilly. I pushed my children off for naps so I could sit my lawn chair in their kiddie pools. I was sad if I had to do something and would miss the peak "tan" hours of 10-2. My dream job was to be that skinny Bando Solei girl who was given a bottle of lotion and told.. get as dark as you can (I'd like to see her leather face today) I used tanning blankets which were glorified tin foil sheets until the oil and sun ate the silver off and it stuck to me. Then I found insulated blankets from sporting goods shops because tanning was unhealthy. I still go into the drug stores in January and sniff Coppertone like it's crack cocaine & I'm Whitney Houston with a song..
But now I am old and my skin tells me that the tanning is not good. I see spots and think "Hmm?" .
I use 30-70 SPF.. I try to get myself under control...
But on a blistering summer day I remember the spray bottle... the scent of Coppertone with some orange tint, the kiddie pool with little animals dancing across it and how I was so nimble I could get in that lawn chair without it folding up on me and I shed a little tear, spray on the heavy 30 SPF and hang my head in despair...
I am an addict.. I love the sun...
Monday, July 5, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Growing up in the 60's
As is my habit, when school is out I head to the library and grab a stack of books to read. If you drive by my house and the light is on at 4:00 a.m., it is me reading. Once I start a book I prefer to sit thru the whole book. Last night I read "I love you Miss Huddleston" by Phillip Gulley. The book took place in Indiana and it was like a visit from childhood, and it was funny which is always a good thing for me. When he talked about cheating in Monopoly I thot he was me!
Although my girls are pretty balanced I feel bad that they did not have my childhood. My cousin Laura came on Friday and my brothers stopped by and we talked about growing up. We had it made!
We did not know we were poor and my sister still laughs about a girl calling up white trash because we were insulted but we were indeed white trash. I remember having a brick holding up our sofa and an blanket tucked a million times a day over the seat cushions to hide the wear & tear. What did we care! We ran all day in the summer and sometimes all night in the yard...lighting bugs are still my favorite thing to see. Ahh! Summer.
And family was where we lived, cousins coming and going, sleeping in tents in the back yard and parents who never worried about us the way I worry now. We walked everywhere!
The ball park where we had suicide slushies that were just every flavor thrown together. And going to the lake to wash our hair... I can't remember spending too much time bathing in my youth and my sister-in-law was talking about sharing bath water. Were our parents worried the well would run dry? (Good advice, always take the 1st bath in this situation.. enough said)
And in Osceola, we had a house that was converted into a library. (And the thrill in 6th grade when you could go into the adult section! More books! So many books!) I rode my stingray bike there with Jon Christofeno in the 5th grade in the rain. He gave me candy for Valentine's day. I still think of Jon when I head past that library that is a house again and I say a little prayer for him.
And how did I have time to play ball, swim, do ceramics, ride my bike, play barbies, catch fire flies, torment my brothers, be tormented by my brothers, picnics and reunions, slumber parties and ice cream? I'm telling you what I think... Summer and the years in general were a lot longer back then.. time stretched back then.. sigh.. I miss those days. They were a blast!
Although my girls are pretty balanced I feel bad that they did not have my childhood. My cousin Laura came on Friday and my brothers stopped by and we talked about growing up. We had it made!
We did not know we were poor and my sister still laughs about a girl calling up white trash because we were insulted but we were indeed white trash. I remember having a brick holding up our sofa and an blanket tucked a million times a day over the seat cushions to hide the wear & tear. What did we care! We ran all day in the summer and sometimes all night in the yard...lighting bugs are still my favorite thing to see. Ahh! Summer.
And family was where we lived, cousins coming and going, sleeping in tents in the back yard and parents who never worried about us the way I worry now. We walked everywhere!
The ball park where we had suicide slushies that were just every flavor thrown together. And going to the lake to wash our hair... I can't remember spending too much time bathing in my youth and my sister-in-law was talking about sharing bath water. Were our parents worried the well would run dry? (Good advice, always take the 1st bath in this situation.. enough said)
And in Osceola, we had a house that was converted into a library. (And the thrill in 6th grade when you could go into the adult section! More books! So many books!) I rode my stingray bike there with Jon Christofeno in the 5th grade in the rain. He gave me candy for Valentine's day. I still think of Jon when I head past that library that is a house again and I say a little prayer for him.
And how did I have time to play ball, swim, do ceramics, ride my bike, play barbies, catch fire flies, torment my brothers, be tormented by my brothers, picnics and reunions, slumber parties and ice cream? I'm telling you what I think... Summer and the years in general were a lot longer back then.. time stretched back then.. sigh.. I miss those days. They were a blast!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Stand By Me
In the movie Stand By Me the author says that friends you make when you are young (12, 13) are the best and you will never have friends like that again. I have always loved that line because it is so true. I also like the movie "Now & Then" because it is the girl version of that age.
My friends back then were incredible. We had slumber parties where a seance became the talk of school on Monday. ( I was kicked out of that inner circle because I laughed.. really, Abe Lincoln? could we not come up with anything better?) And what was the deal with "Light as a feather" and picking people up? Did boys do these things?
Anyway, I am heading to Maryland to see one such "Then" friend who happened to stick. We hated our brothers and shared clothes. We never crushed on the other's boy, we rode motorcycles and ate ice cream, we walked into each other's houses and looked in the refrigerators without a thought. Our Moms were hilarious and passed it on to us. You could never have a bad time with Ronda, it was simply not possible.
I wish I had a tape of our lives then, That terrible awkward teen thing... I would not do it again unless I could do it with the same friends. Ronda, Ann, Mary, Chris, Murphy, Terre, Crystal, Cheril.... that great inner circle where we fought and made up over and over again. They have the most special place in my heart and I hope I am in their's too.
We had a blast!
And since I will be with Ronda this weekend I will have fun again... because with her, it is impossible not to.
My friends back then were incredible. We had slumber parties where a seance became the talk of school on Monday. ( I was kicked out of that inner circle because I laughed.. really, Abe Lincoln? could we not come up with anything better?) And what was the deal with "Light as a feather" and picking people up? Did boys do these things?
Anyway, I am heading to Maryland to see one such "Then" friend who happened to stick. We hated our brothers and shared clothes. We never crushed on the other's boy, we rode motorcycles and ate ice cream, we walked into each other's houses and looked in the refrigerators without a thought. Our Moms were hilarious and passed it on to us. You could never have a bad time with Ronda, it was simply not possible.
I wish I had a tape of our lives then, That terrible awkward teen thing... I would not do it again unless I could do it with the same friends. Ronda, Ann, Mary, Chris, Murphy, Terre, Crystal, Cheril.... that great inner circle where we fought and made up over and over again. They have the most special place in my heart and I hope I am in their's too.
We had a blast!
And since I will be with Ronda this weekend I will have fun again... because with her, it is impossible not to.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Twisted Sisters
If anyone reads my sister's blog they should know that I am usually the female relative she writes about. Her latest blog about the scale is sad but true. I did have a scale that was off 10 pounds and I happily went through life thinking I was thinner than I was. Then every doctor visit I would turn livid that his scale weighed me 10 lbs. more.
Last year I was at different doctors alot and on Monday my family doctor's scale weighed me 10 lbs. up and then the next day the endrocronlogists weighed me 10 lbs. heavier.
The chocolate river of denial was over. I got a new scale. It is digital and I have O.C.D. and it flashes different weights as you stand on it... when it is lower I am praying and when it flips higher I am mad.. and then it locks in.UGH! And even though I am 10 lbs. heavier I am still fighting the same 5 lbs. up and down they go.
And now I am old. My aunt looked at me one day and told me just to go with it... I just can't. And if I did I would be washing myself with a rag on a stick and be on some show with the wall being chopped out to release me from my house. Maybe with Richard Simmons outside with a microphone tsk, tsking me....
So when I read my sister's blog ( who has more followers than me, thank you very much) I wonder where this came from, the whole numbers thing. I have even talked to people who refuse to get on their doctor's scales...WHAT? You can refuse? But I never will anyway because in my depraved mind I want it to say 160... MY! MY! you have lost so much weight!
Stop laughing, it could happen... if I could just lose this extra 10 lbs. I recently "found"
Last year I was at different doctors alot and on Monday my family doctor's scale weighed me 10 lbs. up and then the next day the endrocronlogists weighed me 10 lbs. heavier.
The chocolate river of denial was over. I got a new scale. It is digital and I have O.C.D. and it flashes different weights as you stand on it... when it is lower I am praying and when it flips higher I am mad.. and then it locks in.UGH! And even though I am 10 lbs. heavier I am still fighting the same 5 lbs. up and down they go.
And now I am old. My aunt looked at me one day and told me just to go with it... I just can't. And if I did I would be washing myself with a rag on a stick and be on some show with the wall being chopped out to release me from my house. Maybe with Richard Simmons outside with a microphone tsk, tsking me....
So when I read my sister's blog ( who has more followers than me, thank you very much) I wonder where this came from, the whole numbers thing. I have even talked to people who refuse to get on their doctor's scales...WHAT? You can refuse? But I never will anyway because in my depraved mind I want it to say 160... MY! MY! you have lost so much weight!
Stop laughing, it could happen... if I could just lose this extra 10 lbs. I recently "found"
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Basswood Road
I moved to Basswood Road when I was about 5, before I was in school..no kindergarten for me, straight to 1st grade and guess what, I was a genius! I remember how exciting it was to read the word "Something", such a big word for a child that did not have Sesame Street or PBS. I swear I never saw the alphabet in order until I saw it above that black board at Osceola school. I still love Dick & Jane in their white bread world, because they taught me how to read which I still love all these years later.
My Dad still lives on Basswood Road and my Daughter Aubrey moved in when my Mom died.
When my Mom was dying she told me to get her bulbs and she was not talking about Christmas lights, she was talking flower bulbs. Once she quit working she kicked into some crazy Martha Stewart wanna-be who would almost cry with pain at the end of the day from gardening. I am talking a flatbed truck might not work for all the plants.
And please note, I am not a gardener.. I got poison ivy one time which turned into shingles which turned me off being in any weeds. But my Mom told me to get her bulbs.
I went to Basswood road yesterday after work and I dug up some flowers. I had to get the iris plants with flowers so I knew what color they were. I could not get the tulips that were the most amazing tulips ever when they bloomed last Spring.. my Mom never saw how wonderful they were. But we all did and it broke our hearts.
But I leaned the shovel against the truck and cried in front of my Dad. He said mowing the lawn was so hard and I pictured him coming around the corner and not seeing her bent over some new plant or weeding like a maniac. I don't know how he can do it.
And then, later I asked him where she got all the rocks from around the bushes. Did she buy them? He said she picked them up in the yard and carried them in 5 gallon buckets.. and I had to laugh. I miss the silly things my Mom would do.
And Basswood Road was her home.
And in many ways it will always be mine too.
(And Mom, I still am not a big fan of gardening but you know, you never liked to read, love you, miss you, see you soon!)
My Dad still lives on Basswood Road and my Daughter Aubrey moved in when my Mom died.
When my Mom was dying she told me to get her bulbs and she was not talking about Christmas lights, she was talking flower bulbs. Once she quit working she kicked into some crazy Martha Stewart wanna-be who would almost cry with pain at the end of the day from gardening. I am talking a flatbed truck might not work for all the plants.
And please note, I am not a gardener.. I got poison ivy one time which turned into shingles which turned me off being in any weeds. But my Mom told me to get her bulbs.
I went to Basswood road yesterday after work and I dug up some flowers. I had to get the iris plants with flowers so I knew what color they were. I could not get the tulips that were the most amazing tulips ever when they bloomed last Spring.. my Mom never saw how wonderful they were. But we all did and it broke our hearts.
But I leaned the shovel against the truck and cried in front of my Dad. He said mowing the lawn was so hard and I pictured him coming around the corner and not seeing her bent over some new plant or weeding like a maniac. I don't know how he can do it.
And then, later I asked him where she got all the rocks from around the bushes. Did she buy them? He said she picked them up in the yard and carried them in 5 gallon buckets.. and I had to laugh. I miss the silly things my Mom would do.
And Basswood Road was her home.
And in many ways it will always be mine too.
(And Mom, I still am not a big fan of gardening but you know, you never liked to read, love you, miss you, see you soon!)
Friday, April 16, 2010
Aunt Jean
My Aunt Jean is celebrating her 70th birthday this month. I would have to say she is the aunt my mom really grew up with. Their birthdays were only days apart and they got married on the same day, just different locations. I want to say Mom only went out with my Dad because Aunt Jean didn't want to go on a date alone. I wish I could confirm this story with my Mom, but that is the one I remember.
Growing up, we were at my Aunt Jean and Uncle Ray's house a lot. We rode horses, okay, everyone else rode and I was thrown and dragged by various horses and ponies. Uncle Ray in the summer could be counted on to take you to the lake every day when he got home. I remember buggy rides and an assortment of dogs that would sleep in our beds and leave God only knows what in the sheets. (C'mon, we gotta shake the sheets, I can't sleep in this sand pit!)
One time Mom and Jean loaded 7 kids into a station wagon and we went to the big slide at K-Mart and then we headed to Hubbard Hill Museum in Elkhart where I saw a lamb with another lamb growing out the side of it and I can still see us racing through the orchards. That day I think they stopped and used their last 35 cents to buy gas.
Growing up my cousins were like extended family. We raced through our lives with the same faces next to us when we were young and then as teenagers. And in the background were our Moms. They both had incredible senses of humor and both rooted for the underdogs, every time. I can still see them sitting at the kitchen tables in our houses and just talking and laughing. (Why is it always the kitchen table?)
They taught us patience, love, how to laugh, how to have fun and always how to remember. And I do remember.
There is not much better than a sister. (Yeah, Sally that is a shout out to you!)
Happy Birthday to my Aunt Jean who was one of the best sisters ever.
Growing up, we were at my Aunt Jean and Uncle Ray's house a lot. We rode horses, okay, everyone else rode and I was thrown and dragged by various horses and ponies. Uncle Ray in the summer could be counted on to take you to the lake every day when he got home. I remember buggy rides and an assortment of dogs that would sleep in our beds and leave God only knows what in the sheets. (C'mon, we gotta shake the sheets, I can't sleep in this sand pit!)
One time Mom and Jean loaded 7 kids into a station wagon and we went to the big slide at K-Mart and then we headed to Hubbard Hill Museum in Elkhart where I saw a lamb with another lamb growing out the side of it and I can still see us racing through the orchards. That day I think they stopped and used their last 35 cents to buy gas.
Growing up my cousins were like extended family. We raced through our lives with the same faces next to us when we were young and then as teenagers. And in the background were our Moms. They both had incredible senses of humor and both rooted for the underdogs, every time. I can still see them sitting at the kitchen tables in our houses and just talking and laughing. (Why is it always the kitchen table?)
They taught us patience, love, how to laugh, how to have fun and always how to remember. And I do remember.
There is not much better than a sister. (Yeah, Sally that is a shout out to you!)
Happy Birthday to my Aunt Jean who was one of the best sisters ever.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
22 years
Kenny & I will be married 22 years tomorrow.
Man, did that fly by.
And in this marriage there has always been a balancing act. Kenny has always been the fun one. When the girls were little and doing things I wouldn't let them I would hear him yell, "your mom is coming!" because he was right in there with them. He is calm, I am crazy. He does not let his emotions control him at all. He is steady.
He has been the best Dad ever and an equally good husband. He still makes me laugh. He still makes my heart hurt and that is how I decided I would marry him forever. He was replacing storm windows in his old house and I pulled into his driveway and man, I got this ache and thought...uh oh. I love this guy.
Any time someone has asked about some guy they were dating my first question is; Does he make your heart hurt? and if they say Yes I think it will work.
Yeah, God sent the right guy for the job. He lives with a house full of women and he still has a sense of humor. He always has the best Christmas costume for the pictures. He can cook and he even helps clean. He does all the yard work and pool chemicals. He can fix anything. He doesn't complain when he has to work on the girl's cars. He sat with Aubrey during chemo as much as I did. He comes up with the best and most unique presents. He makes my heart hurt still. Another 22 years? Yeah, I'm in.
Man, did that fly by.
And in this marriage there has always been a balancing act. Kenny has always been the fun one. When the girls were little and doing things I wouldn't let them I would hear him yell, "your mom is coming!" because he was right in there with them. He is calm, I am crazy. He does not let his emotions control him at all. He is steady.
He has been the best Dad ever and an equally good husband. He still makes me laugh. He still makes my heart hurt and that is how I decided I would marry him forever. He was replacing storm windows in his old house and I pulled into his driveway and man, I got this ache and thought...uh oh. I love this guy.
Any time someone has asked about some guy they were dating my first question is; Does he make your heart hurt? and if they say Yes I think it will work.
Yeah, God sent the right guy for the job. He lives with a house full of women and he still has a sense of humor. He always has the best Christmas costume for the pictures. He can cook and he even helps clean. He does all the yard work and pool chemicals. He can fix anything. He doesn't complain when he has to work on the girl's cars. He sat with Aubrey during chemo as much as I did. He comes up with the best and most unique presents. He makes my heart hurt still. Another 22 years? Yeah, I'm in.
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