This is how my Mom is guiding me, I am talking to my sister and we discuss how I am making her a birthday cake and literally the cake is burning in the oven while I am talking to her. I then have to slice the cake up and skim the bottom off, frost with 2 tubs of frosting and it is no longer a rectangle, it's just weird. This would be my Mom channeling thru me to this world, her kitchen adventures are true legends.
Then while I am at my Dad's my brother tells me how he is turning into my Dad. Remember when your parents wished for you to have kids just like yourself? When that wish is defeated you simply turn into them so make your choice wisely, kids like you or you like your parents. It is a crazy wish that God I am sure sits and laughs about every day.. Kudos to the Big Guy on that one.
I gotta go.. I think I smell something burning.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Cold October
I usually spend my time fanning myself because I am hot, hot, hot but now I am cold. It is a strange sensation. I still have a burst of feel good which is great. I have cooked 3 days in a row which is funny because I hate to cook but I think I am just enjoying the heat from the burners and the oven. Is this what I have been missing for years? I never really noticed the seasons changing and I hardly ever wear a winter coat.. darn little thyroid I miss him already.
The weight loss is not happening at all so I guess I am just fat for life. There was a Dr. Oz show that showed if you : 200 plus your weight X 8 = the calories you eat to maintain your weight. I now hate Dr. Oz and think if I was eating that good I would be washing myself with a rag on a stick by now instead of my 5 year plan for it. (I will have to skip my ice cream while watching The Biggest Loser tonight.) Yeah, I am that pathetic. And Jillian should scare the pounds off of you just by screaming in your face. She is what my bad dreams are now about.
The weight loss is not happening at all so I guess I am just fat for life. There was a Dr. Oz show that showed if you : 200 plus your weight X 8 = the calories you eat to maintain your weight. I now hate Dr. Oz and think if I was eating that good I would be washing myself with a rag on a stick by now instead of my 5 year plan for it. (I will have to skip my ice cream while watching The Biggest Loser tonight.) Yeah, I am that pathetic. And Jillian should scare the pounds off of you just by screaming in your face. She is what my bad dreams are now about.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Scanned!
I get to go tomorrow for one more scan and then I may be done with Nuclear med for awhile.
I am feeling really good... energy is an incredible thing.
I woke up yesterday when I heard my Mom call my name. I would have sworn she was in my living room just calling for me to get out of bed. There is nothing worse than missing someone this badly... wishing for just one phone call, one lazy afternoon on the deck talking or driving to some stupid mundane event and just talking, or when we use to just laugh about goofy things and then always getting on a rant about something. It is strange how a ringing phone loses it's appeal when it's not your mom calling. Your heart can truly break & shatter, this I know is true.
It feels like forever since I have talked to her, since I told her it was okay to go that we would be okay... now she knows I lied. But can her joy be as over powering as my loss?
This is my prayer to God... carry our love with her and we will see her soon, and I hope she is dancing with JOY!
I am feeling really good... energy is an incredible thing.
I woke up yesterday when I heard my Mom call my name. I would have sworn she was in my living room just calling for me to get out of bed. There is nothing worse than missing someone this badly... wishing for just one phone call, one lazy afternoon on the deck talking or driving to some stupid mundane event and just talking, or when we use to just laugh about goofy things and then always getting on a rant about something. It is strange how a ringing phone loses it's appeal when it's not your mom calling. Your heart can truly break & shatter, this I know is true.
It feels like forever since I have talked to her, since I told her it was okay to go that we would be okay... now she knows I lied. But can her joy be as over powering as my loss?
This is my prayer to God... carry our love with her and we will see her soon, and I hope she is dancing with JOY!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Homebound
I am still radioactive & need to avoid pregnant women & children so I am missing out on my hubby & daughter Aubrey in a pie eating contest at the Niles Apple Fest.. I hope the pictures turn out well. They have my Dad with them who probably did not plan on a 3-4 hour day in Niles but he has been stuck doing all kinds of things since my Mom died. Most that she would have loved and he does not. We have been keeping him busy. Also he got a $129. speeding ticket becasue he forgot to shut off the cruise control when he left the by-pass so that was a bummer for him. I would think the cop would feel guilty giving the old guy a ticket, especially wearing that hat of his.
I am feeling pretty good. I take steroids & extra thyroid pills until Wed. and then I am back to one pill a day. I hate prescription pills but this will be the only one I am taking to replace the thyroid and I guess I can live with that.
The pizza was beyond incredible and the elephant ear was close. (Why can't I lose weight? lol..)
I am feeling pretty good. I take steroids & extra thyroid pills until Wed. and then I am back to one pill a day. I hate prescription pills but this will be the only one I am taking to replace the thyroid and I guess I can live with that.
The pizza was beyond incredible and the elephant ear was close. (Why can't I lose weight? lol..)
Friday, October 2, 2009
Solitary Confinement
I have been in my room since yesterday afternoon. I was bored after 20 minutes. I need to learn how to like worthless t.v. but I believe it is the antichrist. So bad!
I have to send a shout out to Dr. Isaacson & his knives because he did such a great slice & dice so there are only little parts of my thyroid to deal with so very little cancer. I must now forgive him that I don't sound like Jessica Rabbit but I was told today I sounded raspy and like I had been drinking a lot. I have not, but the thought has crossed my mind this past month.
Of course my student did not ask about me at school.. the little turd. (Especially after telling him he had arm pit hair last week which made him so happy.. you'd think no other boy had the skill of growing it...I will be back to see his growth on Tuesday which is funny but he is probably still obsessed with it. (Daughters were so easy for me and I hear they are not but I don't know any better so let me stay in the dark about it.)
Yesterday on hearing the news was the first time I felt joy in a long time. Man, there is nothing worse than missing your Mom. 10 months this month.
I have to send a shout out to Dr. Isaacson & his knives because he did such a great slice & dice so there are only little parts of my thyroid to deal with so very little cancer. I must now forgive him that I don't sound like Jessica Rabbit but I was told today I sounded raspy and like I had been drinking a lot. I have not, but the thought has crossed my mind this past month.
Of course my student did not ask about me at school.. the little turd. (Especially after telling him he had arm pit hair last week which made him so happy.. you'd think no other boy had the skill of growing it...I will be back to see his growth on Tuesday which is funny but he is probably still obsessed with it. (Daughters were so easy for me and I hear they are not but I don't know any better so let me stay in the dark about it.)
Yesterday on hearing the news was the first time I felt joy in a long time. Man, there is nothing worse than missing your Mom. 10 months this month.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Whew!
They did not do the drop & go routine which I have to admit made everything pretty boring. The pill did come in the form af a lead canteen but she lifted the tube rubber gloves, I ate it and was sent home to hibernate... I am all ready bored.
The good news is the cancer stayed right in my thyroid and I will just have to be tested off & on. (I was really worried after this crummy year that it would be more.. Thank God!)
Now I am chewing gum & hard candy because i don't want to have dry mouth the rest of my life or for my taste buds to go altho that might help the rest of my body. Two more days on the diet and then back on the thyroid meds that I hope give me energy and make it easier to drop my root beer belly. (The bad news is all follow up scans involve 10 days of this diet.)
While we waited for the drug to be mixed they said I could go eat in the cafeteria and then come back as long as I didn't eat anything real bad so of course I made Kenny take me to Subway and even without mayo that was an incredible sandwich that I might have only chewed once . Yumm-oh!
The good news is the cancer stayed right in my thyroid and I will just have to be tested off & on. (I was really worried after this crummy year that it would be more.. Thank God!)
Now I am chewing gum & hard candy because i don't want to have dry mouth the rest of my life or for my taste buds to go altho that might help the rest of my body. Two more days on the diet and then back on the thyroid meds that I hope give me energy and make it easier to drop my root beer belly. (The bad news is all follow up scans involve 10 days of this diet.)
While we waited for the drug to be mixed they said I could go eat in the cafeteria and then come back as long as I didn't eat anything real bad so of course I made Kenny take me to Subway and even without mayo that was an incredible sandwich that I might have only chewed once . Yumm-oh!
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