Remember the silver tinsel from the 60's? The lovely silver strings that you hung on your dried up real tree in big clumps? And then the cat would eat it and crap it out.
One year our tree was so crooked that my Dad strung up fishing line from the tree to the ceiling to straighten it out.
The time I dropped the huge metal scissors into the punch bowl and cracked it but did not know until the punch started leaking all over the counter.
The flat plastic sled with a rope on it that were surely death traps on the sledding hills but one of the best gifts ever?
Christmas parties at school with presents and everything!
The year my parents went out and tied one on and then had to come home and put out gifts.. and they tried to be quiet. (They were not!)
Sitting in the living room and gazing at the tree at 3:00, arguing about who would wake up our parents the first time. 5:30 was their limit, really and God bless them for it.
The year all the adult kids with their kids crashed at our parents and stayed up watching "Ghostbusters!"
Every year that my Dad crabbed but my Mom did everything to give us a good Christmas when there was no money for them to do it. She pulled it off every year. We made cookies and watched movies and had ribbon candy. And she was up fixing turkey and baking for days. The pies would line the counter and and the tree would be loaded with candy canes. My Mom loved Christmas and she passed it on to all of us. This is when I miss her most and not because it's a holiday, because it was her holiday.
But when I am baking cookies or wrapping gifts I may be missing her but I am also thanking her for giving me this magic season. Thank you Mom and Dad for making us giving and loving. For giving us joy and laughter. I love you forever! Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
R U KIDDING ME?
The roads are slick and snow covered and you are driving in traffic texting or on your phone.
When you say you don't talk on the phone when your kids are in the car. What about other people's kids in their cars?
You are standing on a street corner begging and have the nerve to pull out a pack of cigarettes to smoke (not even generic cigarettes).
A middle school student gets a disability check when he is not even employable..he's 13 for God's sake.
My Dad is in the donut hole for meds while same student gets a monthly check.
Our new health care will cover your child until they are 26 as long as they stay unemployed. If their job offers them crap insurance they have to take it and your insurance cannot even be secondary. Doesn't matter if they are a full time student. My insurance told me to tell her to quit her job.
Nachos and cheese as a school lunch? When did that become a healthy options? Okay, I lied, any school lunch served is not a healthy option.
School breakfast on Fridays? Pop Tarts 400 calories and chocolate milk 170 calories.
Snookie.
Anything Kardashian, come on people.
Television censors...really? Do your job!
Gas that goes up 20 cents but never down 20.
Celebrities that scream they are Christians and then dress and dance like porno stars. If you wouldn't act like that in front of Jesus don't act like that. period.
And don't thank God for your awards when all your cds have parental warnings on them.
It's Sesame Street, put the girls away.
People who hang in the left hand lane and won't let you pass. Get out of my way.
People who get pets and then leave them out to cry and yelp all night..if you aren't going to love it don't get it.
People who don't donate blood, it's a life you are saving and you get a really good cookie.
Okay, I feel better now.
When you say you don't talk on the phone when your kids are in the car. What about other people's kids in their cars?
You are standing on a street corner begging and have the nerve to pull out a pack of cigarettes to smoke (not even generic cigarettes).
A middle school student gets a disability check when he is not even employable..he's 13 for God's sake.
My Dad is in the donut hole for meds while same student gets a monthly check.
Our new health care will cover your child until they are 26 as long as they stay unemployed. If their job offers them crap insurance they have to take it and your insurance cannot even be secondary. Doesn't matter if they are a full time student. My insurance told me to tell her to quit her job.
Nachos and cheese as a school lunch? When did that become a healthy options? Okay, I lied, any school lunch served is not a healthy option.
School breakfast on Fridays? Pop Tarts 400 calories and chocolate milk 170 calories.
Snookie.
Anything Kardashian, come on people.
Television censors...really? Do your job!
Gas that goes up 20 cents but never down 20.
Celebrities that scream they are Christians and then dress and dance like porno stars. If you wouldn't act like that in front of Jesus don't act like that. period.
And don't thank God for your awards when all your cds have parental warnings on them.
It's Sesame Street, put the girls away.
People who hang in the left hand lane and won't let you pass. Get out of my way.
People who get pets and then leave them out to cry and yelp all night..if you aren't going to love it don't get it.
People who don't donate blood, it's a life you are saving and you get a really good cookie.
Okay, I feel better now.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Can you hear me now?
Usually my high points at work are when a student remembers from day 1 to day 2 that they have a "B" in their name or how many quarters are in a dollar. My job is never really rocket science, it just sometimes feels like that at the end of the day.
Today one of our students who has not been indentified as hearing impaired was hooked up to an easy listener system that it just a head set for her and a microphone for who is speaking to her. I was called last night to hear that we could hook her up today and I was very excited.
She comes to my room to do calender with my naughty boy and I put the set on her head and talk. Her face shows every ounce of surprise she has.. she can actually hear me better! People talk about "her face lit up" and I am here to tell you, "like a Christmas tree!" It was my Annie Sullivan/Helen Keller moment. When it was time for art I had to leave the room because I had to cry for the pure joy she had sitting in a room with voices she could understand. She was smiling all day and when we went to lunch which is so noisey she kept the headphones on.
I had to call her Mom I was so excited. This is a day that I will always remember and one that makes the crazy days so worth it.
Today I so loved my job!
Today one of our students who has not been indentified as hearing impaired was hooked up to an easy listener system that it just a head set for her and a microphone for who is speaking to her. I was called last night to hear that we could hook her up today and I was very excited.
She comes to my room to do calender with my naughty boy and I put the set on her head and talk. Her face shows every ounce of surprise she has.. she can actually hear me better! People talk about "her face lit up" and I am here to tell you, "like a Christmas tree!" It was my Annie Sullivan/Helen Keller moment. When it was time for art I had to leave the room because I had to cry for the pure joy she had sitting in a room with voices she could understand. She was smiling all day and when we went to lunch which is so noisey she kept the headphones on.
I had to call her Mom I was so excited. This is a day that I will always remember and one that makes the crazy days so worth it.
Today I so loved my job!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Beer Belly Bonanza & Muffin Mania
Growing up we kidded my Dad about having a watermelon in his belly. It was shaped like the perfect July melon and if you thumped on it the sound was also the same. How can your gut be that big and hard? Only if you are a man. It was not your classic slouchy beer belly...it was like it's own entity. The man is 72 and his belly is still hard.
Not so much for us women. We have what is called muffin tops and only because we refuse to buy pants one size larger. (My 1st husband told me it looked like an inflatable duck that kids used as floatation devices at the beach and I should paint a duck face on my shirt..note: 1st husband did not last too long)
Kenny does not comment on my muffin although when we first married he was surprised to see me jump and zip at the same time. I thought this was quite smart as the fat would fly up and it took alot of talent to zip fast enough before it came back down. "Why don't you just lay down on the bed?" he asked me. I could not take this defeat laying down and the whole process of getting up and off a waterbed in tight pants was too complicated, I continued to jump and zip.
Most of my co-workers are over 45 and we lament at our muffins. Even the size 2 that is now in a size 4 is disgusted with the ring around her middle. "I never had this before! Look at this" she cries as she pinches what amounts to a small pinch compared to me who could float down the Old Mighty Mississippi with my duck. And we surely can't wear our pants low like the guys do with their guts.
I hear the answer is Spanx but I gotta tell you, one good hot flash and that baby is melting out my pant legs onto the floor like the wicked witch in Oz. I think I will stick with big shirts. Isn't it time for smocks to be all the rage for women over 40? (And maybe men with their beer bellies too?)
Not so much for us women. We have what is called muffin tops and only because we refuse to buy pants one size larger. (My 1st husband told me it looked like an inflatable duck that kids used as floatation devices at the beach and I should paint a duck face on my shirt..note: 1st husband did not last too long)
Kenny does not comment on my muffin although when we first married he was surprised to see me jump and zip at the same time. I thought this was quite smart as the fat would fly up and it took alot of talent to zip fast enough before it came back down. "Why don't you just lay down on the bed?" he asked me. I could not take this defeat laying down and the whole process of getting up and off a waterbed in tight pants was too complicated, I continued to jump and zip.
Most of my co-workers are over 45 and we lament at our muffins. Even the size 2 that is now in a size 4 is disgusted with the ring around her middle. "I never had this before! Look at this" she cries as she pinches what amounts to a small pinch compared to me who could float down the Old Mighty Mississippi with my duck. And we surely can't wear our pants low like the guys do with their guts.
I hear the answer is Spanx but I gotta tell you, one good hot flash and that baby is melting out my pant legs onto the floor like the wicked witch in Oz. I think I will stick with big shirts. Isn't it time for smocks to be all the rage for women over 40? (And maybe men with their beer bellies too?)
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Up in Smoke
I started smoking when I was 18. Did I know how to smoke? No, but after giving it the old college try I mastered the fine art of sucking in trash and blowing it out. Everyone I knew smoked in the 80s and it was my major bow to peer pressure. My parents did not smoke and for years it was only my younger brother & I who puffed, puffed, puffed our way through life. And now I have spent all these years trying to quit.
My brother who quit just recently with Chantix was smoking 4-5 packs (yes, packs) a day. He is about a month into fresher lungs. I am a stupid smoker, maybe 2 a day and then maybe 10. I never buy them because I would smoke all day if I had a pack. How many times have I quit? Probably in a year I really smoke 10 months out of that year... I quit for 2 weeks, 3 days etc. but then I think oh, I can smoke just one.. I got news for myself, no you can't!
So I have not smoked since August 6th and I am not going to say "this time" because I need to be done with this.
Ah, my addictive personality. I am so happy I never tried cocaine because I gotta tell you, my nose would have been eaten off my face.
I am very thankful that my girls hate smoking. I told Aubrey years ago if she ever tried it I would lay her hands on the counter and hammer them until all her fingers were mangled and she would not look cool smoking at all. I would congratulate myself on putting the fear of God in her but I think she was just smarter than me.
So, I am not going to think "this time". I am going to say "the last time" I quit smoking because I never know when I can call myself an ex-smoker and that is almost as good as saying "I have never smoked".
My brother who quit just recently with Chantix was smoking 4-5 packs (yes, packs) a day. He is about a month into fresher lungs. I am a stupid smoker, maybe 2 a day and then maybe 10. I never buy them because I would smoke all day if I had a pack. How many times have I quit? Probably in a year I really smoke 10 months out of that year... I quit for 2 weeks, 3 days etc. but then I think oh, I can smoke just one.. I got news for myself, no you can't!
So I have not smoked since August 6th and I am not going to say "this time" because I need to be done with this.
Ah, my addictive personality. I am so happy I never tried cocaine because I gotta tell you, my nose would have been eaten off my face.
I am very thankful that my girls hate smoking. I told Aubrey years ago if she ever tried it I would lay her hands on the counter and hammer them until all her fingers were mangled and she would not look cool smoking at all. I would congratulate myself on putting the fear of God in her but I think she was just smarter than me.
So, I am not going to think "this time". I am going to say "the last time" I quit smoking because I never know when I can call myself an ex-smoker and that is almost as good as saying "I have never smoked".
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Grumpy Old Men
I am not sure why I am stuck in this postion but I guess I may have to Thank my mom again. This was her job and now it has fallen to me whether I like it or not. It is alot of work.
My Uncle is now in the hospital fighting lung cancer. I think he looks pretty good for what he has been through but that is my opinion. I am trying to get information from a few people over 70 and I gotta tell you, these people are driving me nuts.
OH NO! HE REFUSES TO EAT! HE WILL DIE! (His son says he is bull-headed and the patient doesn't remember refusing the feeding tube)
HE HAS LOST 3 PINTS OF BLOOD! WHERE DID IT GO? HE IS GOING TO DIE! (blood transfusions after chemo are normal.. & I hate that I know this)
So I am like a firefighter... spray a few words here, a phone call there.. and I pray which makes God happy that my anger is down a notch.
& My Uncle Skip tells stories to his brother. They talk about "the old man" and the service..one is a veteran, the other running from the MPs. They talk about kids and marriage and alot about cars. (I swear a man would recognize an old car before any people in a photo..yeah, he had that 56 Chevy.. remember that 46 Buick? )
I sit in the hospital and listen and my Uncle winks at me with tubes in his nose & stomach as Skip spins another tale. They are the uncles that break my heart because they are so alone through mistakes and misteps. But I need them to know that they are loved by many so I go crazy with them.
I hope my Uncle gets out of the hospital and moves in with his brother. I hope they tool around town and everyone knows they are the Shireman boys. I hope they laugh together. And I hope when it's time they know they had a hell offa run and most of all they know that people loved them.
That is my prayer to God today.. know that you are loved. (No matter how grumpy you are!)
My Uncle is now in the hospital fighting lung cancer. I think he looks pretty good for what he has been through but that is my opinion. I am trying to get information from a few people over 70 and I gotta tell you, these people are driving me nuts.
OH NO! HE REFUSES TO EAT! HE WILL DIE! (His son says he is bull-headed and the patient doesn't remember refusing the feeding tube)
HE HAS LOST 3 PINTS OF BLOOD! WHERE DID IT GO? HE IS GOING TO DIE! (blood transfusions after chemo are normal.. & I hate that I know this)
So I am like a firefighter... spray a few words here, a phone call there.. and I pray which makes God happy that my anger is down a notch.
& My Uncle Skip tells stories to his brother. They talk about "the old man" and the service..one is a veteran, the other running from the MPs. They talk about kids and marriage and alot about cars. (I swear a man would recognize an old car before any people in a photo..yeah, he had that 56 Chevy.. remember that 46 Buick? )
I sit in the hospital and listen and my Uncle winks at me with tubes in his nose & stomach as Skip spins another tale. They are the uncles that break my heart because they are so alone through mistakes and misteps. But I need them to know that they are loved by many so I go crazy with them.
I hope my Uncle gets out of the hospital and moves in with his brother. I hope they tool around town and everyone knows they are the Shireman boys. I hope they laugh together. And I hope when it's time they know they had a hell offa run and most of all they know that people loved them.
That is my prayer to God today.. know that you are loved. (No matter how grumpy you are!)
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Summer Sleep
My top reason for loving summer and having a job that I have summers off? Sleep.
I remember being 4 or 5 and not sleeping and it amazes me that most people can go to bed, close their eyes and just ..sleep.
I am laying in bed thinking of how to save the world, get my laundry done, Did I load the dishwasher.. uh oh, better get up and look, I need a vacation..mm, where would I go? I wonder if it's going to rain? Did we lock the pool ladder? Did I close my car windows? Is everyone okay? What is that stupid cat doing? Did i put that payment in the mail? Better get up and check.. it is a non stop chaos soup in my brain.
But summer... at least I can toss and turn and know I can sleep in..every flipping day! Pure bliss.
I realized this morning that our coffee pot goes off after 2 hours and I have had to get up and turn it back on all week.. I miss the Today show... I don't care.. I stayed up late reading my book (Jen Lancaster is my new favorite author right now.. too funny!) and didn't have to worry about when I would fall asleep.. it is soo great!
And I am already thinking.. school starts in August, my sleep will again be jacked up. I will return to the tossing and turning of Sunday nights (Always the worst) and the thinking of Saturday mornings.
There is not much better than rolling over at 8:00 and just laying there..
until I think.. is my laundry done?
I remember being 4 or 5 and not sleeping and it amazes me that most people can go to bed, close their eyes and just ..sleep.
I am laying in bed thinking of how to save the world, get my laundry done, Did I load the dishwasher.. uh oh, better get up and look, I need a vacation..mm, where would I go? I wonder if it's going to rain? Did we lock the pool ladder? Did I close my car windows? Is everyone okay? What is that stupid cat doing? Did i put that payment in the mail? Better get up and check.. it is a non stop chaos soup in my brain.
But summer... at least I can toss and turn and know I can sleep in..every flipping day! Pure bliss.
I realized this morning that our coffee pot goes off after 2 hours and I have had to get up and turn it back on all week.. I miss the Today show... I don't care.. I stayed up late reading my book (Jen Lancaster is my new favorite author right now.. too funny!) and didn't have to worry about when I would fall asleep.. it is soo great!
And I am already thinking.. school starts in August, my sleep will again be jacked up. I will return to the tossing and turning of Sunday nights (Always the worst) and the thinking of Saturday mornings.
There is not much better than rolling over at 8:00 and just laying there..
until I think.. is my laundry done?
Monday, July 5, 2010
Coppertone Junkie
I have an addictive personality. I am aware of this yet, it still keeps tripping me up in life.
When Pepsi had diet with a twist of lime.. I was drinking 3 gallons of the stuff, along with kettle corn. Every fair or festival I went to I had my face in the big hot pan waiting for my bag. (Then they made it for the microwave... I openly admit that I was out of control.. Orville Reddenbacker was one hot man to me for months.)
And it is never anything healthy! Why can't I love to run or exercise or eat fruit and veggies?
But, one of my greatest additions started in high school. I had terrible acne on my back and the doctor told me to lay in the sun. So, doctor's orders, I did. Like an addict.
I used baby oil and had a spray bottle when it got hot. I started in March and just covered up with a blanket if the wind was too chilly. I pushed my children off for naps so I could sit my lawn chair in their kiddie pools. I was sad if I had to do something and would miss the peak "tan" hours of 10-2. My dream job was to be that skinny Bando Solei girl who was given a bottle of lotion and told.. get as dark as you can (I'd like to see her leather face today) I used tanning blankets which were glorified tin foil sheets until the oil and sun ate the silver off and it stuck to me. Then I found insulated blankets from sporting goods shops because tanning was unhealthy. I still go into the drug stores in January and sniff Coppertone like it's crack cocaine & I'm Whitney Houston with a song..
But now I am old and my skin tells me that the tanning is not good. I see spots and think "Hmm?" .
I use 30-70 SPF.. I try to get myself under control...
But on a blistering summer day I remember the spray bottle... the scent of Coppertone with some orange tint, the kiddie pool with little animals dancing across it and how I was so nimble I could get in that lawn chair without it folding up on me and I shed a little tear, spray on the heavy 30 SPF and hang my head in despair...
I am an addict.. I love the sun...
When Pepsi had diet with a twist of lime.. I was drinking 3 gallons of the stuff, along with kettle corn. Every fair or festival I went to I had my face in the big hot pan waiting for my bag. (Then they made it for the microwave... I openly admit that I was out of control.. Orville Reddenbacker was one hot man to me for months.)
And it is never anything healthy! Why can't I love to run or exercise or eat fruit and veggies?
But, one of my greatest additions started in high school. I had terrible acne on my back and the doctor told me to lay in the sun. So, doctor's orders, I did. Like an addict.
I used baby oil and had a spray bottle when it got hot. I started in March and just covered up with a blanket if the wind was too chilly. I pushed my children off for naps so I could sit my lawn chair in their kiddie pools. I was sad if I had to do something and would miss the peak "tan" hours of 10-2. My dream job was to be that skinny Bando Solei girl who was given a bottle of lotion and told.. get as dark as you can (I'd like to see her leather face today) I used tanning blankets which were glorified tin foil sheets until the oil and sun ate the silver off and it stuck to me. Then I found insulated blankets from sporting goods shops because tanning was unhealthy. I still go into the drug stores in January and sniff Coppertone like it's crack cocaine & I'm Whitney Houston with a song..
But now I am old and my skin tells me that the tanning is not good. I see spots and think "Hmm?" .
I use 30-70 SPF.. I try to get myself under control...
But on a blistering summer day I remember the spray bottle... the scent of Coppertone with some orange tint, the kiddie pool with little animals dancing across it and how I was so nimble I could get in that lawn chair without it folding up on me and I shed a little tear, spray on the heavy 30 SPF and hang my head in despair...
I am an addict.. I love the sun...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Growing up in the 60's
As is my habit, when school is out I head to the library and grab a stack of books to read. If you drive by my house and the light is on at 4:00 a.m., it is me reading. Once I start a book I prefer to sit thru the whole book. Last night I read "I love you Miss Huddleston" by Phillip Gulley. The book took place in Indiana and it was like a visit from childhood, and it was funny which is always a good thing for me. When he talked about cheating in Monopoly I thot he was me!
Although my girls are pretty balanced I feel bad that they did not have my childhood. My cousin Laura came on Friday and my brothers stopped by and we talked about growing up. We had it made!
We did not know we were poor and my sister still laughs about a girl calling up white trash because we were insulted but we were indeed white trash. I remember having a brick holding up our sofa and an blanket tucked a million times a day over the seat cushions to hide the wear & tear. What did we care! We ran all day in the summer and sometimes all night in the yard...lighting bugs are still my favorite thing to see. Ahh! Summer.
And family was where we lived, cousins coming and going, sleeping in tents in the back yard and parents who never worried about us the way I worry now. We walked everywhere!
The ball park where we had suicide slushies that were just every flavor thrown together. And going to the lake to wash our hair... I can't remember spending too much time bathing in my youth and my sister-in-law was talking about sharing bath water. Were our parents worried the well would run dry? (Good advice, always take the 1st bath in this situation.. enough said)
And in Osceola, we had a house that was converted into a library. (And the thrill in 6th grade when you could go into the adult section! More books! So many books!) I rode my stingray bike there with Jon Christofeno in the 5th grade in the rain. He gave me candy for Valentine's day. I still think of Jon when I head past that library that is a house again and I say a little prayer for him.
And how did I have time to play ball, swim, do ceramics, ride my bike, play barbies, catch fire flies, torment my brothers, be tormented by my brothers, picnics and reunions, slumber parties and ice cream? I'm telling you what I think... Summer and the years in general were a lot longer back then.. time stretched back then.. sigh.. I miss those days. They were a blast!
Although my girls are pretty balanced I feel bad that they did not have my childhood. My cousin Laura came on Friday and my brothers stopped by and we talked about growing up. We had it made!
We did not know we were poor and my sister still laughs about a girl calling up white trash because we were insulted but we were indeed white trash. I remember having a brick holding up our sofa and an blanket tucked a million times a day over the seat cushions to hide the wear & tear. What did we care! We ran all day in the summer and sometimes all night in the yard...lighting bugs are still my favorite thing to see. Ahh! Summer.
And family was where we lived, cousins coming and going, sleeping in tents in the back yard and parents who never worried about us the way I worry now. We walked everywhere!
The ball park where we had suicide slushies that were just every flavor thrown together. And going to the lake to wash our hair... I can't remember spending too much time bathing in my youth and my sister-in-law was talking about sharing bath water. Were our parents worried the well would run dry? (Good advice, always take the 1st bath in this situation.. enough said)
And in Osceola, we had a house that was converted into a library. (And the thrill in 6th grade when you could go into the adult section! More books! So many books!) I rode my stingray bike there with Jon Christofeno in the 5th grade in the rain. He gave me candy for Valentine's day. I still think of Jon when I head past that library that is a house again and I say a little prayer for him.
And how did I have time to play ball, swim, do ceramics, ride my bike, play barbies, catch fire flies, torment my brothers, be tormented by my brothers, picnics and reunions, slumber parties and ice cream? I'm telling you what I think... Summer and the years in general were a lot longer back then.. time stretched back then.. sigh.. I miss those days. They were a blast!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Stand By Me
In the movie Stand By Me the author says that friends you make when you are young (12, 13) are the best and you will never have friends like that again. I have always loved that line because it is so true. I also like the movie "Now & Then" because it is the girl version of that age.
My friends back then were incredible. We had slumber parties where a seance became the talk of school on Monday. ( I was kicked out of that inner circle because I laughed.. really, Abe Lincoln? could we not come up with anything better?) And what was the deal with "Light as a feather" and picking people up? Did boys do these things?
Anyway, I am heading to Maryland to see one such "Then" friend who happened to stick. We hated our brothers and shared clothes. We never crushed on the other's boy, we rode motorcycles and ate ice cream, we walked into each other's houses and looked in the refrigerators without a thought. Our Moms were hilarious and passed it on to us. You could never have a bad time with Ronda, it was simply not possible.
I wish I had a tape of our lives then, That terrible awkward teen thing... I would not do it again unless I could do it with the same friends. Ronda, Ann, Mary, Chris, Murphy, Terre, Crystal, Cheril.... that great inner circle where we fought and made up over and over again. They have the most special place in my heart and I hope I am in their's too.
We had a blast!
And since I will be with Ronda this weekend I will have fun again... because with her, it is impossible not to.
My friends back then were incredible. We had slumber parties where a seance became the talk of school on Monday. ( I was kicked out of that inner circle because I laughed.. really, Abe Lincoln? could we not come up with anything better?) And what was the deal with "Light as a feather" and picking people up? Did boys do these things?
Anyway, I am heading to Maryland to see one such "Then" friend who happened to stick. We hated our brothers and shared clothes. We never crushed on the other's boy, we rode motorcycles and ate ice cream, we walked into each other's houses and looked in the refrigerators without a thought. Our Moms were hilarious and passed it on to us. You could never have a bad time with Ronda, it was simply not possible.
I wish I had a tape of our lives then, That terrible awkward teen thing... I would not do it again unless I could do it with the same friends. Ronda, Ann, Mary, Chris, Murphy, Terre, Crystal, Cheril.... that great inner circle where we fought and made up over and over again. They have the most special place in my heart and I hope I am in their's too.
We had a blast!
And since I will be with Ronda this weekend I will have fun again... because with her, it is impossible not to.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Twisted Sisters
If anyone reads my sister's blog they should know that I am usually the female relative she writes about. Her latest blog about the scale is sad but true. I did have a scale that was off 10 pounds and I happily went through life thinking I was thinner than I was. Then every doctor visit I would turn livid that his scale weighed me 10 lbs. more.
Last year I was at different doctors alot and on Monday my family doctor's scale weighed me 10 lbs. up and then the next day the endrocronlogists weighed me 10 lbs. heavier.
The chocolate river of denial was over. I got a new scale. It is digital and I have O.C.D. and it flashes different weights as you stand on it... when it is lower I am praying and when it flips higher I am mad.. and then it locks in.UGH! And even though I am 10 lbs. heavier I am still fighting the same 5 lbs. up and down they go.
And now I am old. My aunt looked at me one day and told me just to go with it... I just can't. And if I did I would be washing myself with a rag on a stick and be on some show with the wall being chopped out to release me from my house. Maybe with Richard Simmons outside with a microphone tsk, tsking me....
So when I read my sister's blog ( who has more followers than me, thank you very much) I wonder where this came from, the whole numbers thing. I have even talked to people who refuse to get on their doctor's scales...WHAT? You can refuse? But I never will anyway because in my depraved mind I want it to say 160... MY! MY! you have lost so much weight!
Stop laughing, it could happen... if I could just lose this extra 10 lbs. I recently "found"
Last year I was at different doctors alot and on Monday my family doctor's scale weighed me 10 lbs. up and then the next day the endrocronlogists weighed me 10 lbs. heavier.
The chocolate river of denial was over. I got a new scale. It is digital and I have O.C.D. and it flashes different weights as you stand on it... when it is lower I am praying and when it flips higher I am mad.. and then it locks in.UGH! And even though I am 10 lbs. heavier I am still fighting the same 5 lbs. up and down they go.
And now I am old. My aunt looked at me one day and told me just to go with it... I just can't. And if I did I would be washing myself with a rag on a stick and be on some show with the wall being chopped out to release me from my house. Maybe with Richard Simmons outside with a microphone tsk, tsking me....
So when I read my sister's blog ( who has more followers than me, thank you very much) I wonder where this came from, the whole numbers thing. I have even talked to people who refuse to get on their doctor's scales...WHAT? You can refuse? But I never will anyway because in my depraved mind I want it to say 160... MY! MY! you have lost so much weight!
Stop laughing, it could happen... if I could just lose this extra 10 lbs. I recently "found"
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Basswood Road
I moved to Basswood Road when I was about 5, before I was in school..no kindergarten for me, straight to 1st grade and guess what, I was a genius! I remember how exciting it was to read the word "Something", such a big word for a child that did not have Sesame Street or PBS. I swear I never saw the alphabet in order until I saw it above that black board at Osceola school. I still love Dick & Jane in their white bread world, because they taught me how to read which I still love all these years later.
My Dad still lives on Basswood Road and my Daughter Aubrey moved in when my Mom died.
When my Mom was dying she told me to get her bulbs and she was not talking about Christmas lights, she was talking flower bulbs. Once she quit working she kicked into some crazy Martha Stewart wanna-be who would almost cry with pain at the end of the day from gardening. I am talking a flatbed truck might not work for all the plants.
And please note, I am not a gardener.. I got poison ivy one time which turned into shingles which turned me off being in any weeds. But my Mom told me to get her bulbs.
I went to Basswood road yesterday after work and I dug up some flowers. I had to get the iris plants with flowers so I knew what color they were. I could not get the tulips that were the most amazing tulips ever when they bloomed last Spring.. my Mom never saw how wonderful they were. But we all did and it broke our hearts.
But I leaned the shovel against the truck and cried in front of my Dad. He said mowing the lawn was so hard and I pictured him coming around the corner and not seeing her bent over some new plant or weeding like a maniac. I don't know how he can do it.
And then, later I asked him where she got all the rocks from around the bushes. Did she buy them? He said she picked them up in the yard and carried them in 5 gallon buckets.. and I had to laugh. I miss the silly things my Mom would do.
And Basswood Road was her home.
And in many ways it will always be mine too.
(And Mom, I still am not a big fan of gardening but you know, you never liked to read, love you, miss you, see you soon!)
My Dad still lives on Basswood Road and my Daughter Aubrey moved in when my Mom died.
When my Mom was dying she told me to get her bulbs and she was not talking about Christmas lights, she was talking flower bulbs. Once she quit working she kicked into some crazy Martha Stewart wanna-be who would almost cry with pain at the end of the day from gardening. I am talking a flatbed truck might not work for all the plants.
And please note, I am not a gardener.. I got poison ivy one time which turned into shingles which turned me off being in any weeds. But my Mom told me to get her bulbs.
I went to Basswood road yesterday after work and I dug up some flowers. I had to get the iris plants with flowers so I knew what color they were. I could not get the tulips that were the most amazing tulips ever when they bloomed last Spring.. my Mom never saw how wonderful they were. But we all did and it broke our hearts.
But I leaned the shovel against the truck and cried in front of my Dad. He said mowing the lawn was so hard and I pictured him coming around the corner and not seeing her bent over some new plant or weeding like a maniac. I don't know how he can do it.
And then, later I asked him where she got all the rocks from around the bushes. Did she buy them? He said she picked them up in the yard and carried them in 5 gallon buckets.. and I had to laugh. I miss the silly things my Mom would do.
And Basswood Road was her home.
And in many ways it will always be mine too.
(And Mom, I still am not a big fan of gardening but you know, you never liked to read, love you, miss you, see you soon!)
Friday, April 16, 2010
Aunt Jean
My Aunt Jean is celebrating her 70th birthday this month. I would have to say she is the aunt my mom really grew up with. Their birthdays were only days apart and they got married on the same day, just different locations. I want to say Mom only went out with my Dad because Aunt Jean didn't want to go on a date alone. I wish I could confirm this story with my Mom, but that is the one I remember.
Growing up, we were at my Aunt Jean and Uncle Ray's house a lot. We rode horses, okay, everyone else rode and I was thrown and dragged by various horses and ponies. Uncle Ray in the summer could be counted on to take you to the lake every day when he got home. I remember buggy rides and an assortment of dogs that would sleep in our beds and leave God only knows what in the sheets. (C'mon, we gotta shake the sheets, I can't sleep in this sand pit!)
One time Mom and Jean loaded 7 kids into a station wagon and we went to the big slide at K-Mart and then we headed to Hubbard Hill Museum in Elkhart where I saw a lamb with another lamb growing out the side of it and I can still see us racing through the orchards. That day I think they stopped and used their last 35 cents to buy gas.
Growing up my cousins were like extended family. We raced through our lives with the same faces next to us when we were young and then as teenagers. And in the background were our Moms. They both had incredible senses of humor and both rooted for the underdogs, every time. I can still see them sitting at the kitchen tables in our houses and just talking and laughing. (Why is it always the kitchen table?)
They taught us patience, love, how to laugh, how to have fun and always how to remember. And I do remember.
There is not much better than a sister. (Yeah, Sally that is a shout out to you!)
Happy Birthday to my Aunt Jean who was one of the best sisters ever.
Growing up, we were at my Aunt Jean and Uncle Ray's house a lot. We rode horses, okay, everyone else rode and I was thrown and dragged by various horses and ponies. Uncle Ray in the summer could be counted on to take you to the lake every day when he got home. I remember buggy rides and an assortment of dogs that would sleep in our beds and leave God only knows what in the sheets. (C'mon, we gotta shake the sheets, I can't sleep in this sand pit!)
One time Mom and Jean loaded 7 kids into a station wagon and we went to the big slide at K-Mart and then we headed to Hubbard Hill Museum in Elkhart where I saw a lamb with another lamb growing out the side of it and I can still see us racing through the orchards. That day I think they stopped and used their last 35 cents to buy gas.
Growing up my cousins were like extended family. We raced through our lives with the same faces next to us when we were young and then as teenagers. And in the background were our Moms. They both had incredible senses of humor and both rooted for the underdogs, every time. I can still see them sitting at the kitchen tables in our houses and just talking and laughing. (Why is it always the kitchen table?)
They taught us patience, love, how to laugh, how to have fun and always how to remember. And I do remember.
There is not much better than a sister. (Yeah, Sally that is a shout out to you!)
Happy Birthday to my Aunt Jean who was one of the best sisters ever.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
22 years
Kenny & I will be married 22 years tomorrow.
Man, did that fly by.
And in this marriage there has always been a balancing act. Kenny has always been the fun one. When the girls were little and doing things I wouldn't let them I would hear him yell, "your mom is coming!" because he was right in there with them. He is calm, I am crazy. He does not let his emotions control him at all. He is steady.
He has been the best Dad ever and an equally good husband. He still makes me laugh. He still makes my heart hurt and that is how I decided I would marry him forever. He was replacing storm windows in his old house and I pulled into his driveway and man, I got this ache and thought...uh oh. I love this guy.
Any time someone has asked about some guy they were dating my first question is; Does he make your heart hurt? and if they say Yes I think it will work.
Yeah, God sent the right guy for the job. He lives with a house full of women and he still has a sense of humor. He always has the best Christmas costume for the pictures. He can cook and he even helps clean. He does all the yard work and pool chemicals. He can fix anything. He doesn't complain when he has to work on the girl's cars. He sat with Aubrey during chemo as much as I did. He comes up with the best and most unique presents. He makes my heart hurt still. Another 22 years? Yeah, I'm in.
Man, did that fly by.
And in this marriage there has always been a balancing act. Kenny has always been the fun one. When the girls were little and doing things I wouldn't let them I would hear him yell, "your mom is coming!" because he was right in there with them. He is calm, I am crazy. He does not let his emotions control him at all. He is steady.
He has been the best Dad ever and an equally good husband. He still makes me laugh. He still makes my heart hurt and that is how I decided I would marry him forever. He was replacing storm windows in his old house and I pulled into his driveway and man, I got this ache and thought...uh oh. I love this guy.
Any time someone has asked about some guy they were dating my first question is; Does he make your heart hurt? and if they say Yes I think it will work.
Yeah, God sent the right guy for the job. He lives with a house full of women and he still has a sense of humor. He always has the best Christmas costume for the pictures. He can cook and he even helps clean. He does all the yard work and pool chemicals. He can fix anything. He doesn't complain when he has to work on the girl's cars. He sat with Aubrey during chemo as much as I did. He comes up with the best and most unique presents. He makes my heart hurt still. Another 22 years? Yeah, I'm in.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Cheesy Potatoes
It is a holiday, my family will meet and do what we do best.. eat until we are stuffed. I want to fix cheesy potatoes but I gotta tell you.. I love them and will eat until my eyes look like potato spud eyes...creepy but true.
I love a good spud.. what can you do to screw them up? Baked, fried, boiled, thrown in with any food and they are tasty. Mashed..yummo! Breakfast, lunch or dinner and I could eat a tater.. I believe this is why we are so hostile to other ethnic groups.. they do not love their potatoes like us. Chines food? Mexican? They miss the whole starchy quest. Bob's 19th hole... they have twice baked that make you want to slap someone they are so good!
But, I am trying to eat better. (Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution? I get it) Since when is Nachos & goopy cheese a main dish for our kids at school? Thank you government food program, again you fail! And these nachos are only cheese, no lettuce, olives or tomatoes. And why do we not feed our kids food that is in season when it is? Corn in August, tomatoes in the fall.. clueless we are.
So, there will be no cheesy taters for me :( I need to learn how to eat real food. Healthy food, maybe a tater here and there but until I get this obsession with potatoes controlled I will have to wait.
Sigh.
I love a good spud.. what can you do to screw them up? Baked, fried, boiled, thrown in with any food and they are tasty. Mashed..yummo! Breakfast, lunch or dinner and I could eat a tater.. I believe this is why we are so hostile to other ethnic groups.. they do not love their potatoes like us. Chines food? Mexican? They miss the whole starchy quest. Bob's 19th hole... they have twice baked that make you want to slap someone they are so good!
But, I am trying to eat better. (Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution? I get it) Since when is Nachos & goopy cheese a main dish for our kids at school? Thank you government food program, again you fail! And these nachos are only cheese, no lettuce, olives or tomatoes. And why do we not feed our kids food that is in season when it is? Corn in August, tomatoes in the fall.. clueless we are.
So, there will be no cheesy taters for me :( I need to learn how to eat real food. Healthy food, maybe a tater here and there but until I get this obsession with potatoes controlled I will have to wait.
Sigh.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Yard woes
About 7 years ago I went into Lowes and bought these very pathetic ornamental grasses. Maybe in 5" pots and dropped them into my yard. They grew. And grew. And grew.
Two of the plants are restrainable but they are now popping up baby grasses through the black plastic and the pea gravel.
The other plant has turned into a huge, straw like monstrosity that may be getting a dose of Round-up which I hear kills everything. In the fall it reaches my roof and every Spring we cut it back and we have a wheat field of hay from the thing. I think it has roots that go to China and back, there is not any way to pull them out.
And then, there are the adorable chipmunks that think my yard is the Disneyland of Chip & Dale life. They have been digging like there is no tomorrow and all ways to get rid of them are just wrong. (A plank set up over a bucket of water with 2" of sunflower seeds that they go to eat and meet their maker.. Ugh!) But, they really need to go.
I am not a gardener because I have OCD.. I want perfect so I just don't even bother... and weeding, what an endless task.
My pool will need a new liner this year and my plan is the usual plan, you can't see the mess when you are floating with your eyes closed.
And in the meantime, need some grass? I got plenty but you do the cutting!
Two of the plants are restrainable but they are now popping up baby grasses through the black plastic and the pea gravel.
The other plant has turned into a huge, straw like monstrosity that may be getting a dose of Round-up which I hear kills everything. In the fall it reaches my roof and every Spring we cut it back and we have a wheat field of hay from the thing. I think it has roots that go to China and back, there is not any way to pull them out.
And then, there are the adorable chipmunks that think my yard is the Disneyland of Chip & Dale life. They have been digging like there is no tomorrow and all ways to get rid of them are just wrong. (A plank set up over a bucket of water with 2" of sunflower seeds that they go to eat and meet their maker.. Ugh!) But, they really need to go.
I am not a gardener because I have OCD.. I want perfect so I just don't even bother... and weeding, what an endless task.
My pool will need a new liner this year and my plan is the usual plan, you can't see the mess when you are floating with your eyes closed.
And in the meantime, need some grass? I got plenty but you do the cutting!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
10 pounds
Every summer, every winter, like clockwork I switch my clothes out..summer to winter and winter to summer.
And every year all year long there is a basket in my closet with clothes that will fit better if I just lose 10-15 pounds. I can get them snapped and zipped but I got a muffin that would make Otis Spunkmeyer green with envy.
I still have not recovered from the incorrect scale that let me live in denial for about 6 years. Then I watched Kirstie on t.v. whining about how hard it is to lose weight. Thank goodness I am not the only one who screams from lack of motivation.
I have 4 days of work this week and then 10 days off... I think I need to be motivated. I need to be held accountable for this hot- sick -out- of -shape mess I am in. The walking at work does not work for me. Drinking all the water does not work for me. Trying to eat healthy doesn't work when I don't work out at the same time. So I need to move it just to get that basket out of my closet.
And I have to understand that it will be harder for me, especially since the report came out saying an hour a day will only maintain me at this age. I don't want to maintain this, I want to be rid of it.
I will be walking more now and if you want to join me, give me a call. I will warn you, I keep a pretty quick pace.
Catch me if you can:)
And every year all year long there is a basket in my closet with clothes that will fit better if I just lose 10-15 pounds. I can get them snapped and zipped but I got a muffin that would make Otis Spunkmeyer green with envy.
I still have not recovered from the incorrect scale that let me live in denial for about 6 years. Then I watched Kirstie on t.v. whining about how hard it is to lose weight. Thank goodness I am not the only one who screams from lack of motivation.
I have 4 days of work this week and then 10 days off... I think I need to be motivated. I need to be held accountable for this hot- sick -out- of -shape mess I am in. The walking at work does not work for me. Drinking all the water does not work for me. Trying to eat healthy doesn't work when I don't work out at the same time. So I need to move it just to get that basket out of my closet.
And I have to understand that it will be harder for me, especially since the report came out saying an hour a day will only maintain me at this age. I don't want to maintain this, I want to be rid of it.
I will be walking more now and if you want to join me, give me a call. I will warn you, I keep a pretty quick pace.
Catch me if you can:)
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sunday Nights
When I was growing up on Sunday nights we all had a bath and watched
"Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" and "Disney". I think I choked thru the wild kingdom stuff just for Tink spraying her wand over that magic castle. (Years later when I went to Disney World I was highly disappointed... I just didn't get IT) How many times could I endure the zebra being eaten by the lions, really?
So last night I watched a few episodes of "Life" and was totally pulled in to the brutal world of crazy strange animals.
I did not know snakes had sex like that.. I thought it was an egg thing. I watched a little frog tumble to safety by stiffening up and falling, falling... and those huge ugly dragons that bit a cow and the poison brought the cow down 3 weeks later with all the dragons surrounding it. It was totally fascinating and strange.
Years ago I would watch nature shows and for some reason I always ended up on the episode of the little sea turtles. Left on the beach to fend for themselves and get to the sea. First, their clumsy Moms crushed them, the crabs ate them and just when you thought they were safe, here came the sea gulls to pluck them up. Millions of turtles and it seemed like five made it to the sea...
I am thankful those damn camera men didn't follow those turtles into the sea and film the sharks eating them...
Just saying.
"Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" and "Disney". I think I choked thru the wild kingdom stuff just for Tink spraying her wand over that magic castle. (Years later when I went to Disney World I was highly disappointed... I just didn't get IT) How many times could I endure the zebra being eaten by the lions, really?
So last night I watched a few episodes of "Life" and was totally pulled in to the brutal world of crazy strange animals.
I did not know snakes had sex like that.. I thought it was an egg thing. I watched a little frog tumble to safety by stiffening up and falling, falling... and those huge ugly dragons that bit a cow and the poison brought the cow down 3 weeks later with all the dragons surrounding it. It was totally fascinating and strange.
Years ago I would watch nature shows and for some reason I always ended up on the episode of the little sea turtles. Left on the beach to fend for themselves and get to the sea. First, their clumsy Moms crushed them, the crabs ate them and just when you thought they were safe, here came the sea gulls to pluck them up. Millions of turtles and it seemed like five made it to the sea...
I am thankful those damn camera men didn't follow those turtles into the sea and film the sharks eating them...
Just saying.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Spring comes
Rough day.
Headed to Rochester to see my uncle and then to the nursing home to see my aunt.
Growing up these two people meant so much to me. My uncle can spin a story and have you laughing until your face aches. He has made me laugh and cry so hard over his extreme exaggerated stories where a jump turns to a leap turns to 50 miles an hour up in the air. I love my Uncle Skip and even tho he has his faults I will always love him the way I did when I was young. He was my fun uncle and still is.
My Aunt Mary was the worker bee in the family. The oldest daughter who married and had two kids, a baby that died from crib death and a twin baby that died. Her husband returns from the service and is not the same man. She divorces and then is a single mom for many years when there were not many single moms. She re-married and after 40 years throws in the towel. (My mom was so shocked that she was not happy.. she can keep a secret very well.) She also was a great story teller. And witty and sarcastic. My Mom loved both of these people with all her heart. They were family. And you never messed with family with my Mom, she was always trying to make peace with everyone.
So it is sad for me to see them now, especially when my Mom would be the one I would be going with if she was alive.
They are old now and caught up in health and mind issues. My aunt who worked her whole life does not want anything I offer to bring, books, magazines, a Large print bible. She just sits in her chair without that sly smile and that "Oh! Janie!" when I would kid with her.
And my uncle is alone.
I cried all the way home and pulled into my driveway to see some flowers coming up. I pulled into the garage and cried. These people are my thread to my Mom and those flowers pulled it tight.
And I will love them all until the day I die.
Headed to Rochester to see my uncle and then to the nursing home to see my aunt.
Growing up these two people meant so much to me. My uncle can spin a story and have you laughing until your face aches. He has made me laugh and cry so hard over his extreme exaggerated stories where a jump turns to a leap turns to 50 miles an hour up in the air. I love my Uncle Skip and even tho he has his faults I will always love him the way I did when I was young. He was my fun uncle and still is.
My Aunt Mary was the worker bee in the family. The oldest daughter who married and had two kids, a baby that died from crib death and a twin baby that died. Her husband returns from the service and is not the same man. She divorces and then is a single mom for many years when there were not many single moms. She re-married and after 40 years throws in the towel. (My mom was so shocked that she was not happy.. she can keep a secret very well.) She also was a great story teller. And witty and sarcastic. My Mom loved both of these people with all her heart. They were family. And you never messed with family with my Mom, she was always trying to make peace with everyone.
So it is sad for me to see them now, especially when my Mom would be the one I would be going with if she was alive.
They are old now and caught up in health and mind issues. My aunt who worked her whole life does not want anything I offer to bring, books, magazines, a Large print bible. She just sits in her chair without that sly smile and that "Oh! Janie!" when I would kid with her.
And my uncle is alone.
I cried all the way home and pulled into my driveway to see some flowers coming up. I pulled into the garage and cried. These people are my thread to my Mom and those flowers pulled it tight.
And I will love them all until the day I die.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
And the beat goes on
I do not like to say I am a Christian anymore. There is too much luggage with the word. Will I judge you? Do I think I am better than you? Am I a goody-two-shoes?
I much prefer to say I am a Jesus follower. Why?
I would not tell Haiti that this happened because they made a pact with the devil and now here is God's wrath on them. I would not tell dead soldier's families that God loves dead soldiers (He loves them all) because America is so liberal about gays. I would not tell the 9nth ward in La. that this is their pay back because of the sin level in that town. And maybe these ministers believe this, I have gotten into a few arguements about God's plan on these situations but my true question is what is the good of it?
Jesus would be the one cleaning up the 9th ward, serving the people in the crumbling stadium, picking up the pieces in Haiti, laying his hands on the injured and dying in Chile. Wrapping his arms around the soldier's family and maybe wearing angel wings to block a grieving family when ugly words are thrown at them because their son was gay and died.
My God is the one who makes me want to be a better person. The one who has consoled me over and over and never said "You are bad and this is your pay back" The One who rejoices when I pick myself up. The one who loves me and calls me his.
So I am a Jesus follower and my heart is spoken for.
I much prefer to say I am a Jesus follower. Why?
I would not tell Haiti that this happened because they made a pact with the devil and now here is God's wrath on them. I would not tell dead soldier's families that God loves dead soldiers (He loves them all) because America is so liberal about gays. I would not tell the 9nth ward in La. that this is their pay back because of the sin level in that town. And maybe these ministers believe this, I have gotten into a few arguements about God's plan on these situations but my true question is what is the good of it?
Jesus would be the one cleaning up the 9th ward, serving the people in the crumbling stadium, picking up the pieces in Haiti, laying his hands on the injured and dying in Chile. Wrapping his arms around the soldier's family and maybe wearing angel wings to block a grieving family when ugly words are thrown at them because their son was gay and died.
My God is the one who makes me want to be a better person. The one who has consoled me over and over and never said "You are bad and this is your pay back" The One who rejoices when I pick myself up. The one who loves me and calls me his.
So I am a Jesus follower and my heart is spoken for.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Is this a sign of a problem?
On Mondays with our Life Skill classes we go on community which is where we go shopping or out and about and try to teach them money and shopping skills. They just want to spend money so you spend some time saying the whoopie cushion is really not a wise way to spend your money. (This from a woman whose husband has 2 fart machines which really made the Olympics a good competition but that is another story)
So today we go on community to Big Lots. I love that place, cheap junk for cheap. And the Christmas Tree Shop is right up there in the running. Probably lead based everything! And why is lead paint so much cheaper than say, healthy paint?
So in Big Lots I see Halloween brownie mix...mmm, good until July and let's face it I have some spices older than my youngest child. I am on that brownie mix like a crazed p.m.s. broad with eight arms. For 50 cents I buy, not 2 or 3 boxes but 10 boxes. I do think you can never have enough baking goods in the house. If I have fewer than 5 bags of chocolate chips I start to hyperventilate... I love to bake when I am in the mood. I hate to cook which is why my next husband will have his own food network show. (Guy with the spikey blonde mess.. he's my next man.)
And as I get home and start unloading all these brownies I think, "Is this wrong on every level?" yes it is.
But if you ever need a brownie, you know where to come... bring the milk!
So today we go on community to Big Lots. I love that place, cheap junk for cheap. And the Christmas Tree Shop is right up there in the running. Probably lead based everything! And why is lead paint so much cheaper than say, healthy paint?
So in Big Lots I see Halloween brownie mix...mmm, good until July and let's face it I have some spices older than my youngest child. I am on that brownie mix like a crazed p.m.s. broad with eight arms. For 50 cents I buy, not 2 or 3 boxes but 10 boxes. I do think you can never have enough baking goods in the house. If I have fewer than 5 bags of chocolate chips I start to hyperventilate... I love to bake when I am in the mood. I hate to cook which is why my next husband will have his own food network show. (Guy with the spikey blonde mess.. he's my next man.)
And as I get home and start unloading all these brownies I think, "Is this wrong on every level?" yes it is.
But if you ever need a brownie, you know where to come... bring the milk!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Insomnia
Not being able to sleep is just sooo much fun. Tossing & turning and trying to shut off your brain.
My husband can fall asleep before the pillow is done crunching with the weight of his head.... and then he starts snoring... ALL NIGHT!
If I drink Ny-qul like a shot I can sleep or The Blessed P.M. pills...But don't wake up because there is that rumbling next to me and my mind racing, racing. You know, all the things to do, and not wanting to be behind on things. And for some reason people come to mind. Maybe someone I lost or someone who lost me. And it's 3:00 and you want to call people and say, "Hey, remember me? what happened 10, 20 years ago, really?"
And the sad thing is I have been like this since I was very young, I can remember being 6, 7 and worrying about what happens next... and here I am still thinking about what happens next.
What happens next is I take something to sleep tonight. 3 days is my limit.
My husband can fall asleep before the pillow is done crunching with the weight of his head.... and then he starts snoring... ALL NIGHT!
If I drink Ny-qul like a shot I can sleep or The Blessed P.M. pills...But don't wake up because there is that rumbling next to me and my mind racing, racing. You know, all the things to do, and not wanting to be behind on things. And for some reason people come to mind. Maybe someone I lost or someone who lost me. And it's 3:00 and you want to call people and say, "Hey, remember me? what happened 10, 20 years ago, really?"
And the sad thing is I have been like this since I was very young, I can remember being 6, 7 and worrying about what happens next... and here I am still thinking about what happens next.
What happens next is I take something to sleep tonight. 3 days is my limit.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Handwriting
Looking for an address and there in the little noebook is a list of phone numbers. Aubrey, Luke, Paige & myself. A pet store. I did not write these down, my Mom did.
I am moving closer to 14 months that I have not called or talked to my Mom. I know she is gone but still I think, "Oh, I will call Mom and tell her about.." and sometimes I think this right after I have thought about her being gone. I do not have anything that smells like her any more, but I wear her old flannel shirt and still I hold it close and sniff. Can she see me? Does she know? Will she see Marissa graduate or any of my girls marry?
I look at the snow and remember how we complained about it. The long cold winters. And then she would start the Spring madness of flower bulbs and planting. She asked me to dig up her bulbs when she thought she was dying and I wasn't so sure. I told her I would need a forklift. Maybe this summer I will dig a few up. I did plant some bulbs that my Dad had dug up while re-doing his garage. He would say it but he couldn't throw them out.
I have been doing better.. eye on the prize, this is not my home, heaven is waiting.. but my patience is often not so good. And I see my Mom's writing and miss her so bad I think my heart will explode out of my chest.
Can she see me? Does she know?
I am moving closer to 14 months that I have not called or talked to my Mom. I know she is gone but still I think, "Oh, I will call Mom and tell her about.." and sometimes I think this right after I have thought about her being gone. I do not have anything that smells like her any more, but I wear her old flannel shirt and still I hold it close and sniff. Can she see me? Does she know? Will she see Marissa graduate or any of my girls marry?
I look at the snow and remember how we complained about it. The long cold winters. And then she would start the Spring madness of flower bulbs and planting. She asked me to dig up her bulbs when she thought she was dying and I wasn't so sure. I told her I would need a forklift. Maybe this summer I will dig a few up. I did plant some bulbs that my Dad had dug up while re-doing his garage. He would say it but he couldn't throw them out.
I have been doing better.. eye on the prize, this is not my home, heaven is waiting.. but my patience is often not so good. And I see my Mom's writing and miss her so bad I think my heart will explode out of my chest.
Can she see me? Does she know?
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Over the Hill and heading down fast
My phone rings today and some woman (it must have been her first day because she wasn't very fluent) wants to know if I might do a radio station survey and make an easy $50. Well, heck yeah! So she asked what station I usuually listen to and then how old I am. I think this is the first time someone has asked my age since December 19. I choked on "50" and she says "Thanks and goodbye"
WHAT THE HELL!!!!
I knew this would happen. It started with the gray hair years ago, really I don't have a clue of my natural color. And then the occasional chin hairs that now could be considered a crop..and it is so wonderful to feel one in the middle of the day with no tweezers or a mirror to crop dust it with. (So you spend the day feeling it and hoping no one sees it.) And then some of those crazy hair are like fishing line, white and stiff. Ugh!
And then there is the broken thermostat.. I am hardly ever cold. I can go outside in 20 degrees and feel fine. The ceiling fan in my bedroom runs at top speed all year and my husband gets up and complains it is cold while I am gasping for air. And I am wearing my clothes out by flapping them away from my sweaty skin. And how can your body only heat up from the waist up?
I do not like this aging thing. I do not believe 50 is the new 30..all lies!
Now, excuse me while I go ice pack my neck because it's getting warm in here.
WHAT THE HELL!!!!
I knew this would happen. It started with the gray hair years ago, really I don't have a clue of my natural color. And then the occasional chin hairs that now could be considered a crop..and it is so wonderful to feel one in the middle of the day with no tweezers or a mirror to crop dust it with. (So you spend the day feeling it and hoping no one sees it.) And then some of those crazy hair are like fishing line, white and stiff. Ugh!
And then there is the broken thermostat.. I am hardly ever cold. I can go outside in 20 degrees and feel fine. The ceiling fan in my bedroom runs at top speed all year and my husband gets up and complains it is cold while I am gasping for air. And I am wearing my clothes out by flapping them away from my sweaty skin. And how can your body only heat up from the waist up?
I do not like this aging thing. I do not believe 50 is the new 30..all lies!
Now, excuse me while I go ice pack my neck because it's getting warm in here.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
what to say?
Just because you lose someone you don't know what to say. You would think that you could have this big wonderful word that would help heal such a broken heart...but I don't.
So, is it enough to tell someone you love them when they have lost someone they love?
Even Jesus wept.
And that sometimes feels better.. to know that Christ ached as we do and He knew the whole picture.
I lift my prayers up for those who ache.. including myself.
So, is it enough to tell someone you love them when they have lost someone they love?
Even Jesus wept.
And that sometimes feels better.. to know that Christ ached as we do and He knew the whole picture.
I lift my prayers up for those who ache.. including myself.
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