Growing up we kidded my Dad about having a watermelon in his belly. It was shaped like the perfect July melon and if you thumped on it the sound was also the same. How can your gut be that big and hard? Only if you are a man. It was not your classic slouchy beer belly...it was like it's own entity. The man is 72 and his belly is still hard.
Not so much for us women. We have what is called muffin tops and only because we refuse to buy pants one size larger. (My 1st husband told me it looked like an inflatable duck that kids used as floatation devices at the beach and I should paint a duck face on my shirt..note: 1st husband did not last too long)
Kenny does not comment on my muffin although when we first married he was surprised to see me jump and zip at the same time. I thought this was quite smart as the fat would fly up and it took alot of talent to zip fast enough before it came back down. "Why don't you just lay down on the bed?" he asked me. I could not take this defeat laying down and the whole process of getting up and off a waterbed in tight pants was too complicated, I continued to jump and zip.
Most of my co-workers are over 45 and we lament at our muffins. Even the size 2 that is now in a size 4 is disgusted with the ring around her middle. "I never had this before! Look at this" she cries as she pinches what amounts to a small pinch compared to me who could float down the Old Mighty Mississippi with my duck. And we surely can't wear our pants low like the guys do with their guts.
I hear the answer is Spanx but I gotta tell you, one good hot flash and that baby is melting out my pant legs onto the floor like the wicked witch in Oz. I think I will stick with big shirts. Isn't it time for smocks to be all the rage for women over 40? (And maybe men with their beer bellies too?)
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