10 pounds

Every summer, every winter, like clockwork I switch my clothes out..summer to winter and winter to summer.
And every year all year long there is a basket in my closet with clothes that will fit better if I just lose 10-15 pounds. I can get them snapped and zipped but I got a muffin that would make Otis Spunkmeyer green with envy.
I still have not recovered from the incorrect scale that let me live in denial for about 6 years. Then I watched Kirstie on t.v. whining about how hard it is to lose weight. Thank goodness I am not the only one who screams from lack of motivation.
I have 4 days of work this week and then 10 days off... I think I need to be motivated. I need to be held accountable for this hot- sick -out- of -shape mess I am in. The walking at work does not work for me. Drinking all the water does not work for me. Trying to eat healthy doesn't work when I don't work out at the same time. So I need to move it just to get that basket out of my closet.
And I have to understand that it will be harder for me, especially since the report came out saying an hour a day will only maintain me at this age. I don't want to maintain this, I want to be rid of it.
I will be walking more now and if you want to join me, give me a call. I will warn you, I keep a pretty quick pace.
Catch me if you can:)

Sunday Nights

When I was growing up on Sunday nights we all had a bath and watched
"Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom" and "Disney". I think I choked thru the wild kingdom stuff just for Tink spraying her wand over that magic castle. (Years later when I went to Disney World I was highly disappointed... I just didn't get IT) How many times could I endure the zebra being eaten by the lions, really?
So last night I watched a few episodes of "Life" and was totally pulled in to the brutal world of crazy strange animals.
I did not know snakes had sex like that.. I thought it was an egg thing. I watched a little frog tumble to safety by stiffening up and falling, falling... and those huge ugly dragons that bit a cow and the poison brought the cow down 3 weeks later with all the dragons surrounding it. It was totally fascinating and strange.
Years ago I would watch nature shows and for some reason I always ended up on the episode of the little sea turtles. Left on the beach to fend for themselves and get to the sea. First, their clumsy Moms crushed them, the crabs ate them and just when you thought they were safe, here came the sea gulls to pluck them up. Millions of turtles and it seemed like five made it to the sea...
I am thankful those damn camera men didn't follow those turtles into the sea and film the sharks eating them...
Just saying.

Spring comes

Rough day.
Headed to Rochester to see my uncle and then to the nursing home to see my aunt.
Growing up these two people meant so much to me. My uncle can spin a story and have you laughing until your face aches. He has made me laugh and cry so hard over his extreme exaggerated stories where a jump turns to a leap turns to 50 miles an hour up in the air. I love my Uncle Skip and even tho he has his faults I will always love him the way I did when I was young. He was my fun uncle and still is.
My Aunt Mary was the worker bee in the family. The oldest daughter who married and had two kids, a baby that died from crib death and a twin baby that died. Her husband returns from the service and is not the same man. She divorces and then is a single mom for many years when there were not many single moms. She re-married and after 40 years throws in the towel. (My mom was so shocked that she was not happy.. she can keep a secret very well.) She also was a great story teller. And witty and sarcastic. My Mom loved both of these people with all her heart. They were family. And you never messed with family with my Mom, she was always trying to make peace with everyone.
So it is sad for me to see them now, especially when my Mom would be the one I would be going with if she was alive.
They are old now and caught up in health and mind issues. My aunt who worked her whole life does not want anything I offer to bring, books, magazines, a Large print bible. She just sits in her chair without that sly smile and that "Oh! Janie!" when I would kid with her.
And my uncle is alone.
I cried all the way home and pulled into my driveway to see some flowers coming up. I pulled into the garage and cried. These people are my thread to my Mom and those flowers pulled it tight.
And I will love them all until the day I die.

And the beat goes on

I do not like to say I am a Christian anymore. There is too much luggage with the word. Will I judge you? Do I think I am better than you? Am I a goody-two-shoes?
I much prefer to say I am a Jesus follower. Why?
I would not tell Haiti that this happened because they made a pact with the devil and now here is God's wrath on them. I would not tell dead soldier's families that God loves dead soldiers (He loves them all) because America is so liberal about gays. I would not tell the 9nth ward in La. that this is their pay back because of the sin level in that town. And maybe these ministers believe this, I have gotten into a few arguements about God's plan on these situations but my true question is what is the good of it?
Jesus would be the one cleaning up the 9th ward, serving the people in the crumbling stadium, picking up the pieces in Haiti, laying his hands on the injured and dying in Chile. Wrapping his arms around the soldier's family and maybe wearing angel wings to block a grieving family when ugly words are thrown at them because their son was gay and died.
My God is the one who makes me want to be a better person. The one who has consoled me over and over and never said "You are bad and this is your pay back" The One who rejoices when I pick myself up. The one who loves me and calls me his.
So I am a Jesus follower and my heart is spoken for.

Is this a sign of a problem?

On Mondays with our Life Skill classes we go on community which is where we go shopping or out and about and try to teach them money and shopping skills. They just want to spend money so you spend some time saying the whoopie cushion is really not a wise way to spend your money. (This from a woman whose husband has 2 fart machines which really made the Olympics a good competition but that is another story)
So today we go on community to Big Lots. I love that place, cheap junk for cheap. And the Christmas Tree Shop is right up there in the running. Probably lead based everything! And why is lead paint so much cheaper than say, healthy paint?
So in Big Lots I see Halloween brownie mix...mmm, good until July and let's face it I have some spices older than my youngest child. I am on that brownie mix like a crazed p.m.s. broad with eight arms. For 50 cents I buy, not 2 or 3 boxes but 10 boxes. I do think you can never have enough baking goods in the house. If I have fewer than 5 bags of chocolate chips I start to hyperventilate... I love to bake when I am in the mood. I hate to cook which is why my next husband will have his own food network show. (Guy with the spikey blonde mess.. he's my next man.)
And as I get home and start unloading all these brownies I think, "Is this wrong on every level?" yes it is.

But if you ever need a brownie, you know where to come... bring the milk!