Gary Goes

So, Gary is gone and he has left a nasty little cancer behind for me. (Kinda like a date with a whore)
Now, I meet another Doctor who deals with radioactive iodine. (Really, who was the first person to take radioactive anything and expect to be okay? Like the first fool to eat shell fish, have you really looked at shrimp or lobster? Gross! but hey, delicious)
So here's the deal, I go off the thyroid medince, starve my body for iodine for a couple weeks by going on the diet from salt & dairy hell and then they give me a little radioactive iodine, scan me and then decide how much to blast me with to kill wherever it has gone because only your thyroid sucks up iodine and only the cancer cells will suck this up.
I have been on the diet one week tomorrow. Like any diet the minute they say you can't have ...I want that thing the worst.
So I am in a thyroid Neverland.. I am foggy and eating fresh fruits & veggies which is ok but salad dressings are limited so I am dying to open a bottle of dressing and jug it like a college drunk standing on my head with a tube..whoo hoo Party at my place!!Ranch on tap! Shots of Catalina! It is just sad.
I am off to have blood work on Monday morning and then the scan on Wed. and the big Kahuna Iodine on Thursday.
My biggest worry? Those hospital surgery beds are narrow as is this scan bed.. I hope I don't fall off.
Biggest thing I am mad about? I can no longer yell very well and I wanted to sound like Jessica Rabbit with Gary gone but to me I sound like that Marlboro cowboy who smoked himself to death. And a zipper tattoo over my scar would not look good on my job without the added zipper tab being pierced in the end and that would hurt!!